Murphy's Law

I went and saw the doctor a couple of weeks ago for the first time in years.

I have a seriously difficult time making appointments and being seen for medical care. It is quite the emotional road block for me. I have thought long and hard about why this is so and truthfully I do not have a fully formed answer. It is something that I am going to resolve to do better about.

I think, in part, this is difficult for me due to the nature of my second marriage.

After my first marriage ended, I met and married a man fifteen years older than me....and a physician. There was absolutely NOTHING that could have prepared me for becoming a "Doctor's Wife"..... Im sure that I will dive into that deeper in future posts-

My reality as a doctor's wife in a small town meant that I had zero possability of anonimity....
The nurse who drew my blood or weighed me in or gave me a shot in the ass knew me as "Dr P's wife" the doctor who counseled me on cholesterol or prescribed my migraine meds or told me to "put my feet in the stirrups and relax....." would enevitibly be seated next to me at the hospital's Christmas party..... Needless to say I developed a SERIOUS complex.

HIPPA regulations aside- I know FIRSTHAND that often the most interesting cases of the day inevitably end up as dinner-time conversation for the doctor's families.....

All of these realities aside-

I had to reason with myself that I simply cannot go the rest of my life without medical care.

And so I took a deep breath- made an appointment as soon as I could so I had little time to talk myself out of it.... And actually followed through and went. Just about the time I was silently patting myself on the back for my mature, responsible follow through I was rewarded for my skepticism....... A surprise pap-smear :( Ugh!!!!!!